If I Had It To Do All Over Again
by tki143
Summary: When will things return to normal in the aftermath of Hoyt's death?
1. Chapter 1

**The usual applies, I do not own nor will I ever own Rizzoli and Isles. They belong to Tess and TNT.**

**If I Had It To Do All Over Again**

**Chapter 1**

They were still avoiding each other a week and a half after Hoyt was killed. They didn't spend time alone with each other anymore. When they went anywhere they were always with friends. At work it was business only, Maura asked Frost to come down to the morgue for her reports or she would drop them off long after Jane had left for the day. Jane knew why she was avoiding Maura. She felt guilty because she never should have taken Maura into the prison hospital with her. When she saw Hoyt on top of her with that scalpel at her throat the guilt was part of what sent the chain of events in action. She didn't care what happened to her but she was going to make sure Hoyt didn't hurt Maura.

She fought harder than she had ever fought before. She knew Maura was defenseless and she could not let Hoyt hurt her. She wrestled him to the floor and when the scalpel dropped from Hoyt's hand she knew it was her only chance. She crawled to the scalpel and fought with Hoyt to gain control of the instrument. Once she had it in her hand she buried it in Hoyt's chest. Some days she still couldn't believe it was over. Hoyt has not only been her sleeping nightmare but he was in her thoughts most every day. Now it was over.

But was the price too high? Maura walked around a shell of her old self. Hoyt did more damage than Jane first thought. She never smiled at least she never smiled at Jane the way she used to and Jane missed that the most. She'd loved Maura from the first time she laid eyes on her. She never believed in love at first sight until she met Maura. But now when she needed her the most she was pushing her away, no Maura wasn't pushing her away she was pushing Maura away. She needed to keep her at arm's length because Hoyt proved it wasn't safe for Maura to be around her. It was killing her, she needed the comfort that only Maura could give her at times like these but she couldn't take the chance.

Why was Jane pushing her away? Every time she approached her she would turn her away like the plague. She finally gave up after the first couple of days but this has got to stop. She needed Jane right now. She missed her strength and the comfort that strength gave her. She stormed out of the morgue and forcefully pushed the up button on the elevator. Her heels could be heard throughout the building and the cadence told Jane that she was not happy.

She walked into the homicide division and straight up to Jane's desk. Waited until Jane looked up and she knew she had her attention. "You…me…my place…7:00 p.m." She smiled at Korsak and Frost then spun on her heels and left the office with a new spring in her step. Maura was still smiling when she entered the morgue, her first genuine smile since they had left the prison. She sat at her desk and started thinking about what she was going to say or do tonight. She'd realized that day with Hoyt that she did not want to be without Jane in her life she'd miss her friendship immensely. When Hoyt had said she was going to feel a little prick she knew at that moment that she was going to die but there wasn't anything she could do about it. The fear she felt for herself was nothing compared to what she felt for Jane. She knew that after she died he was going to kill Jane but she was going to suffer. Hoyt would make sure of that.

Her phone rang before she could think about things anymore. "Dr. Isles." She listened to the caller. "Ok I'm on my way." She arrived at the crime scene and knew from the face of the first responders that this was not going to be a good one. Not that any death is good but some are worse than others. She walked towards the front door and stopped at the officer with the clipboard. "Dr. Maura Isles, Chief Medical Examiner." She held her ID for him to see he nodded his head and she entered the house and stopped just inside the door to cover her shoes with booties and to put the gloves on.

Frost was standing at the entrance to the kitchen taking deep breathes, Jane walked out of the kitchen and placed her hand on Frost's shoulder neither of them saw Maura. "Why don't you go outside and interview neighbors to see if they saw or heard anything?"

"I'll be fine Jane you don't have to baby me." Maura heard the defensiveness in Frost voice but she had also heard the sympathy in Jane's. She seemed to be one of the few who didn't belittle Frost because of his weak stomach.

"I'm not babying you, well maybe a little." Maura heard the smile in her voice. "But I do need someone to do the interviews and I want it done right. You can certainly stay in here and help with the investigation but we'll still have to interview the neighbors. So why not save us the time and you can start the interviews now."

"Since when have you learned how to be diplomatic Rizzoli?" Frost smiled at his partner.

"This has nothing to do with diplomacy and all to do with expediency. You saw the look on Maura's face, if I'm late getting to her house I'm dead meat."

That was Maura's cue to make her presence known. "You better believe it." Both Frost and Jane swung around to face the doctor. Maura watched as the smile on Jane's face grew like it used to when she looked at her but then watched as she schooled her features and showed no emotions at all. Well at least there's still something there. "So what have we got?"

Frost walked by her on his way out. "It's not pretty Doc."

"They never are Barry." She smiled as she watched him walk out the door. When she turned back around Jane had already returned to the kitchen. Maura took a deep breath and walked towards the kitchen. "Out of the frying pan into the fire." She muttered to herself. She stood at the entrance to the kitchen and took in as much as she could. "So what can you tell me about our victim?"

Korsak looked between Maura and Jane and Maura caught the barely perceptible nod from Jane. "Victims. The parents are here in the kitchen and two kids upstairs." He referred to his notes. "Mother, Susan and Father Gino Picolli both age 37. Two kids upstairs, daughter Katy, 5 years old and son Gino Jr. and 4.

Jane watched as Maura's face fell. She knew how much cases with kids upset Maura, hell they got to everyone. She wanted to walk over and wrap her arms around her but she couldn't. "It looks like the kids were asleep so I don't think they felt anything." Jane whispered from across the room.

Maura looked up at Jane and gave her a sad smile. "Thank you. Let me see what we have here then I will head upstairs." She walked over to the female body, careful to avoid any of the blood splatter. The woman's hands were tied over her head and she was handing from the ceiling fan. Maura was shocked when she took a good look at the woman. She turned around and looked at Jane then back at Korsak who were both avoiding making eye contact. She then turned back to the body. "Multiple blunt force trauma to the head. And multiple stab wounds to the chest." She turned to Korsak. "Did you find the weapon used?" He shook his head. "Well once we get them all back to the morgue we can make casts of the wounds and work from there. Tell CSU they can cut her down now." She moved over to the male body whose body was sitting upright in one of the kitchen with his hands tied to the chair arms. "Single GSW to the forehead. He died instantly." She took the liver temperature as she had with the woman and wrote in her notebook. She took one more look at the woman before she turned around. She still couldn't get over that fact that she looked enough like Jane to be her twin.


	2. Chapter 2

'If I Had It To Do All Over Again

**Chapter 2**

Jane loved to watch Maura when she was in "work mode". She was always sure of herself but at a crime scene she was in charge. And to be honest watching Maura give orders was definitely a turn on. I wonder what it would be like to…"Jane!" Jane shook her head as she came back to reality. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah sure, why do you ask?" She looked at Maura.

"Because Korsak already left the room and you were staring at me and you went somewhere in your head. Care to tell me where you were?" Maura looked up from her position beside the father.

"Ah, no. Are you ready to head upstairs?" Jane turned and left without waiting for a response.

Maura shrugged and stood up. At least they were talking and not ignoring each other. It's a start. She wondered if anyone else saw the likeness between Jane and the mother. She headed up the stairs and stopped at the first child's bedroom. The room appeared to belong to a toddler. The bed was a fairy princess bed and the room was painted in pastels. Maura found it hard to enter the room but she knew she had to. She walked over to the bed and looked down at the dark haired child lying there. If it weren't for the gunshot wound to her temple she looked as if she could have still been sleeping. "Damn." Maura whispered under her breath. "Single GSW to right temple. I think it would be safe to say that is the cause of death." Maura said as she knelt beside the bed to get a closer look.

"Ya think?" Jane said under her breath but apparently it was loud enough for Maura to hear her.

"No need for sarcasm Jane." Maura knew this was what cops did to get through tough scenes, they made jokes.

"I'm sorry. The other room is this way." She once again turned and left the room but not before Maura saw the walls go up again.

"Damn Maura why can't you keep your mouth shut." Maura said to herself.

"Because she needs someone to stand up to her and call her on her shit sometimes." Maura turned to see Korsak standing at the door smiling. He walked over and offered his hand to help Maura up.

She reached up and accepted the help. "Thank you Vincent, it's good to know that chivalry isn't dead. Did you notice how much the woman looks like Jane?"

"Yes I did and when I mentioned it to her she said she didn't see it and told me to shut up. I don't think she wants to admit it. Shall we adjourn to the other room? That one is pretty much the same as this one except it's a little boy. So care to give me your opinion as to what might have happened here?" He smiled at Maura knowing what her answer would be.

"Well Vince you know how I feel about that." She turned to him just as they entered the second room. "But if I had to I would say that he killed the children first because he didn't want them to wake up and see what he was going to do to their parents. He wanted to take his time with the woman with no interruptions."

Both Jane and Korsak looked at Maura with shocked expressions on their faces. Jane was surprised for two different reasons. One being the fact that Maura never guesses and the other being that Maura +she had come to the same conclusion that Jane did as to the sequence of events that led to this whole family being slaughtered. "I thought you didn't guess?"

"I didn't guess, Vince asked my opinion as to what I thought happened. He didn't ask me to guess." She hid her smile as she walked towards the second child.

"What's the difference? Hazarding a guess and offering an opinion are one and the same. Or is it who asked the question?"

"Jane don't be childish. He asked my opinion so I gave it." She walked over to the bed and looked down at the little boy lying there. He had the same dark unruly hair that his sister had and that's when she saw how much the children looked like Jane too. "Jane you can't tell me you don't see how much the mother and these two kids look like you. She could be your double."

"No Maura I don't see it." Once again she turned and left the room before anyone could say anything else.

Korsak shrugged and followed Jane out of the room leaving Maura by herself. "Why did this happen to you sweetie? I will do my best to help them find who did this to you. I promise. Jane's the best and she won't quit until she finds who did this to you. Be at peace baby."

Maura couldn't see Jane leaning against the wall outside the room or the tear that slowly slid down her cheek as she heard Maura's words. Jane angrily wiped the tear away and headed back downstairs. "Korsak and I are going to head back to the office and start doing background checks on the parents and see who wanted them dead."

"Since when do you leave the scene before CSU starts?" Frost asked because he couldn't remember the last time Jane left a crime scene before Maura did.

Jane looked up and gave Frost her best glare. "Since I'm going to delegate that responsibility to you. You will stay here until CSU is done and bring back anything that will help us in our investigation. Remember I have to meet Maura at 7:00 and if I hang out here and wait for CSU I'll never make it." She turned and walked away without seeing the smile on Frost's face.

"Maybe now the two of them will deal with what's been bugging them." He stood there watching Jane walk to her car.

"Talking to yourself Barry?" Maura smiled down from the top of the stairs.

Frost turned and looked up at her and smiled. "Jane just left saying she knew if she didn't get started on this case right away she'd never make it to your house by 7:00. I can't tell if she's looking forward to it or dreading it."

Maura walked down the stairs so she was standing next to him. "Good because I'm tired of the way she's been treating me and those around her this past week and a half and I intend to get to the bottom of it."

"About time." Frost turned to see a shocked look on Maura's face. "Oops did I say that out loud?" Maura nodded but smiled at him. "Korsak and I have been worried about the two of you and Jane has been a bitch to work with."

"I don't suppose I've been that easy to be around either." Maura frowned at the thought of how she had been acting all week.

"Not as bad as Jane has. You've at least been approachable. She's done nothing but mope all week and if we even tried to ask how she was she would give us the Rizzoli glare and tell us to stay out of it. Please figure out what the hell is wrong with her and try to make it right." He held his hands together as if her was begging, which I guess he was.


	3. Chapter 3

'If I Had It To Do All Over Again

**Chapter 3**

Maura put her hand on Frost's shoulder. "Believe me this has been bothering me more than it has been bothering you and Korsak. I do not intend to let Jane leave my house until I get to the bottom of it. I'm tired of her pushing me away and this has something to do with Hoyt and that day at the prison. I've let it go on too long and it's taking its toll on all of us and it has got to stop. It's Friday and I'm sure I won't be able to keep her away from the office tomorrow so hopefully it won't take long to work this out. So I guess I had better get back to the morgue so I can be home to meet her at 7:00." She turned and left Frost standing on the steps.

She hurried to her car then drove just over the speed limit so that she could get back to the morgue and prepare everything for the first autopsy. She'd decided the wife would be first, she seemed to have had the most damage so maybe she was the target. Maura pulled into her spot and collected what evidence she brought with her. She noticed Jane's car parked across the lot and smiled, she looked forward to taking Jane on and getting to the bottom of what has been going on for the last week or so. She arrived in the morgue and prepared her tray of tools as she always did and then changed into a set of black scrubs. She was sitting at her desk when the van arrived at the back door with the bodies. She signed for them as per protocol and had them place+ the woman on the table and the other three were placed in drawers.

She unzipped the body bag and was once again shocked when she looked down at the woman on her table. She looked so much like Jane, from the unruly black hair to the long lithe legs, she even had the same cleft in her chin. She decided to run her DNA just to satisfy her curiosity. She heard of the theory of doppelgangers but the scientist in her could never accept it as reality, until now. If anyone was Jane's double this woman was. Maura started to process the body for evidence. She combed her hair and collected the particles that fell then placed them in an evidence envelope. She used collection tape and removed particles from her clothing and then cataloged each article of clothing. After removing any trace evidence from the body she washed the body clean so she could see the true extent of the injuries inflicted upon her body. She counted 12 stab wounds in varying degrees of depth and three blows to the head with a rounded object. She took impressions of the cuts and the indentations on the skull from the blows and sent them to the CSU's for them to figure out what weapons were used.

She then picked up her scalpel to begin the Y-incision but made the mistake of looking at the face of the woman on the table and her hand stopped in midair. "She's not Jane you can do this." She gave herself a mental pep talk and then she reached with her scalpel but still could not make the first incision. She finally had to place a towel over her face to continue with the autopsy. She knew it wasn't professional but it was the only way she would be able to continue removing body parts from someone who looked so much like the woman she loved to be her twin.

Wait! Where did that come from? Yes she loved Jane, as her best friend. Right? She couldn't be in love with her, could she? Oh crap she was in love with her best friend, and she was sure Jane did not return those feelings. Maybe it was just the heat of the moment with Hoyt or the fact that Jane has been pushing her away, maybe she wasn't in love with her. "Who are you kidding Maura? You are crazy in love with her and if you are honest with yourself you have been for quite some time."

"Even geniuses talk to themselves. Now I don't feel so bad." Maura swung around to see the smiling Detective Korsak standing in the doorway.

"How much did you hear Vincent?" Maura hoped against hope that he didn't hear anything.

"Nothing that I didn't already know. You just have to be in the same room with the two of you to know there's something special there. With the exception of this past week."

Maura didn't know what to say. Did he hint that Jane felt the same way? Should she ask? "Has Jane said something to you? How could you know when I only just realized it myself?"

"No Jane has not said anything to me. But the two of you are a couple whether you realized it or not. Think about it. Who do you spend your free time with? Who do you have dinner with? Who do you go out for drinks with? And when you're on a date, who is it you want to talk to as soon as the date is over? And it's the same for Jane too if you about think it." He smiled knowingly at Maura.

"Oh my god you're right! We do everything that a couple does except have sex."

Korsak held up his hands defensively. "I'll leave that one alone. So what have you determined from your autopsy?" Korsak walked over to the table and looked at the towel covering the woman's face but decided not to say anything. He wasn't sure he'd be able to look at her either.

"I had to cover her because I felt like I was cutting Jane open." She didn't look up from the body on the table, she didn't want to see the disapproval on Korsak's face.

"I'm glad you did because I think I would pull a Frost if I had to look at someone who looks so much like Jane being cut open on your table. So what can you tell me?"

"There are 12 stab wounds to the chest area and three blows to the head. Seemed to be a bit of an overkill don't you think? I sent impressions down to the CSU's and most everything else appears to be the organs of a healthy 37 year old woman. It looks like she bore the brunt of the attack. The children suffered the single gunshot wound to the temple, quick and painless. The husband appeared to have taken a few hits, maybe trying to defend his wife, but he was still killed quickly with a single gunshot to the temple. The body temperatures of both husband and wife proved they died within minutes of each other so I think he was made to watch his wife die. There was no sign of sexual assault so at least she was spared that indignity. Do you think the fact that she could be Jane's twin is just a coincidence?"

"God I hope so. She finally rids herself of Hoyt, I'd hate to think there would be someone else out there to take his place. Well, I better leave you alone if you expect to be home by 7:00." He gave her a smile and turned to leave but stopped at the door and turned back towards her. "Give her hell tonight Doc. We're all tired of both of you moping around here." He turned and left leaving Maura standing there with her mouth hanging open.

"Well I'll be damned." Maura turned back to the autopsy with a renewed sense of purpose. She was bound and determined to get Jane to open up to her tonight and in order to do that she would have to finish this autopsy and get home before 7:00 p.m.

Jane finished the last of the paperwork at 6:45 p.m. and knew that she would have to skip going home and changing before she went to Maura's. What difference did it make anyway, she was just going to talk to Maura then go back to her apartment right? She couldn't stay at Maura's anymore because people like Hoyt use it against you and she can't do that to Maura again. It was killing her to stay away from her but if it kept her safe it would be worth it. She looked up at the clock and realized she was going to be late getting to Maura's and she knew how Maura hated people being later. She hurried to the stairs because she didn't want to wait for the elevator. She walked out the back door and looked to Maura's parking spot hoping her car would still be there but it wasn't. She pulled up in front of Maura's house at 7:10 and almost ran to the door.

She rang the doorbell and waited for Maura to answer the door and was surprised when she opened the door and greeted her with a smile. "I will forgive you for keeping me waiting because I know you were probably trying to finish up paperwork. Come on in, sit down and I'll get you a beer." Maura turned and headed for the kitchen. Jane walked over to the couch and sat down and reached for the remote, a reflexive action, then put it down again. She didn't think this was a social call so Maura probably wouldn't appreciate her watching TV. Maura came into the living room with a tray of food along with Jane's beer and wine for herself. "I figured you didn't take time for dinner so I ordered Chinese for the two of us." She set the tray down and handed Jane her chopsticks and the Moo Shoo Pork knowing it was her favorite.

"Thanks Maura, I didn't have a chance to eat because I didn't want to be late, and I was still late. Sorry about that." Jane couldn't believe how good it felt to sit and talk to Maura.

"I already told you it was ok so don't worry about it." Maura reached over and placed her hand on Jane's thigh, something she'd always done, and watched for Jane's reaction. She smiled to herself when she noticed the quick intake of breath and Jane's eyes closed for a split second. She moved her hand and reached for her glass of wine, she found she needed some courage to help her through this.

Jane could hardly believe her reaction to Maura's hand on her thigh. She didn't know why she couldn't control it tonight of all nights. She's always been able to keep her feelings in check around Maura, why not she's had years of practice. How could it be that one week away from her could make this much difference in her reaction? "I really appreciate this." She motioned with her chopsticks to the food and beer. She reached over and grabbed one of the other containers to see what else Maura had bought. "Egg Foo Yung, were you keeping this to yourself? You know I like Egg Foo Yung, are you hiding it?" She gave Maura her patented smirk.

"Of course not Jane, I would never withhold food from you. Especially when it's obvious that you are hungry. Who in their right mind would come between you and your food." She watched as Jane ate the food with gusto. "How long has it been since you've eaten?"

Jane sat back and thought for a moment. "Does coffee count as food?" Maura shook her head. "How about donuts?" Maura shook her head again. Jane thought again then snapped her fingers. "How about Ma's Gnocchi?"

"Did you have more than one and were you sitting down at a table?" It was Jane's turn to shake her head. "Then no it doesn't count." Maura shook her head once more but smiled at Jane's playful banter.

"Is today Friday?" Maura nodded. "Then I guess it's been three days since I sat down and ate what could be considered a meal."

"Jane! Are you trying to kill yourself? You can't go that long without a meal and still be able to function at the level that you do. When was the last time you slept for more than 4 hours? And how often do you have the nightmares? Or are you having new ones?" Maura watched as Jane's shoulders slumped for a moment before she pulled herself together again. "Jane who do you think you're with?"

Jane turned to Maura. "What do you mean?"

"You don't have to hide from me. I thought we passed that stage years ago. You used to open up with me and now all you do is shut down whenever I'm anywhere near you. Have I done something wrong?"

Jane turned on the couch to face Maura. "God no Maura, it's just me and something I have to work through myself."

"You used to work things through by talking to me. Why can't you talk about this? This is about Hoyt isn't it? It's over with Jane, he's dead. He can't hurt you anymore."

Jane stood up and started pacing back and forth in front of the couch. And Maura let her work it out. She finally stopped pacing and turned to face Maura. "But look what he did to you." She pointed to the cut on her neck. "He could have killed you and I almost couldn't stop him. I can't take that chance again. I'm not safe to be around Maura and I could never forgive myself if anything ever happened to you. If I had it to do all over again I never would have taken you with me." Maura could not believe what she was hearing.

"So you think by staying away from me I'll be safe? Is that what this is all about? Is that what this past week has been about? I was the one who decided to go with you to the prison, you did not ask me so get over yourself." Maura stood up and walked and stood right in front of Jane who had a look of astonishment on her face after hearing what Maura said. "I don't know whether to be angry or happy. Maybe I'm a little of both. I needed you this past week, more than I ever have before and you weren't there for me. I watched you keep me at arm's length, well actually more than arm's length all week and it's going to stop. Right here and now."

"What about the happy part?" Jane asked hopefully.

Maura turned back towards the coffee table and bent over to reach her wine glass making sure to display one of her best assets. She heard Jane clear her throat and knew that Jane was looking.

Oh my god this woman is going to kill me, that ass has got to be the best looking ass in all of Boston, if not the best anywhere. She tried to speak but had to stop and clear her throat. "So what part of this makes you happy Maura?"

Maura turned back towards Jane and found that Jane had moved closer and they were almost touching. Maura held her ground. "The part that makes me happy is the fact that you want to protect me. I feel safe when I'm with you and when I saw Hoyt on top of you I thought he was going to kill you. I was relieved when he came towards me. I may not have been able to move but I was able to think and what was going through my mind was that as long as he was with me he wasn't hurting you. I couldn't stand the thought of watching you die." She reached up and took hold of the lapels of Jane's jacket. "Do you realize what that feels like?"

Jane looked down at the brown eyed beauty who was so close she could almost kiss her and make no mistake she wanted to kiss her. "Yes Maura I know exactly what that feels like. I was there remember? I watched him put that scalpel to your neck and draw blood and I went crazy." Jane reached up with her hand and traced the outline of the cut on Maura's neck. "I put you in that position but it will never happen again. I won't let it."

Maura looked up into Jane's dark eyes. "How are you going to stop that from happening Jane? I still have to go to crime scenes, and I still work in the same building as a bunch of cops who all seem to let trouble follow them around. You can't stop it Jane. Now you know how I feel every time you leave the precinct. I sit and I worry that you may not be coming back or you may get hurt again." She felt Jane's arms envelope her and it was then that she realized her head was resting on Jane's chest.

"Ok I promise to never shut you out again, I'm sorry. If it's any consolation I really missed you this past 11 days, 13 hours, 36 minutes and various seconds. There were so many times I needed to talk to you but I couldn't take the chance." She placed a finger on Maura's lips when she tried to say something. "I know it was wrong but you know me, I think with my heart not my head." Jane hadn't realized her finger was still on Maura's lips until she felt it being sucked into Maura's mouth. Oh shit that is so sexy. What the hell is happening? She looked down at Maura and if she thought her sucking on her finger was sexy the look on Maura's face was beyond sexy. "Maura what's going on here?"

Before Maura had a chance to answer both of their phones rang. "Rizzoli." Jane listened and watched as Maura did the same. "Ok I'm on my way." She hung up and headed for her jacket. "Looks like this is going to have to wait. But I ca n assure you, we will get back to it. You want to follow me or should we go in your car?"

"You just want to drive my car don't you?" Jane held Maura's coat for her as she put it on. She picked up the keys from the desk by the door and tossed them over her shoulder and Jane caught them.

"Well let me see, police issue Crown Victoria or a pristine BMW. Ok we can take my car, of course I want to drive your car. Duh!" Jane held the door for Maura and they headed for the crime scene.


	4. Chapter 4

'If I Had It To Do All Over Again

**Chapter 4**

Frost felt the difference as soon as the two of them walked through the door. They were more relaxed and both were smiling. Frost turned to Korsak and they both nodded. "Vince where is the body?"

"This way Doc." They all turned to follow Korsak towards what looked to be the kitchen. "Seems our guy likes the kitchen." He stood in the doorway while Maura approached the body.

She looked back

at him after she got a look at the body which was once again handing in the same position as the last. Then she looked at Jane. "You cannot deny it this time Jane. Someone is killing women that look like you."

Jane ran her hand through her hair then started pacing. "Ok, I'll admit there is a resemblance. We do share some similarities."

"Jane, she looks exactly like you." Korsak was angry and he got up in her face. "This time you can't deny it. I don't think this is a coincidence. This is hitting a little too close to home for my liking."

"Are you saying it's my fault these women are dead? Don't you think the thought hadn't entered my mind when we found the first woman? Now there are two of them. As if I don't have enough guilt on my plate already."

"Jane I don't think Korsak was saying it's your fault, he was saying that someone is trying to tell you something but we're not listening. The person to blame is the person doing the killing and you know that. We need to figure out why this is happening and find a way to get him." Frost said as he stood next to Korsak.

"Frost, this guy has killed twice in one day, there can't be too many more women that look like me in Boston so maybe he'll come after me next and we can get him. I need to put myself out there and make him bite."

Maura stood and approached Jane. "Are you saying you want to use yourself as bait? There has to be another way to do this." She turned frantically to Korsak. "You can't let her do that." She saw the resigned look on Korsak's face. "No Jane, isn't it bad enough that you never know what trouble you'll run into everyday, now you are going looking for it?"

Jane put her hands on each of Maura's shoulders. "Maura you know it's the only way to get this guy." Maura was adamantly shaking her head. "I'll have plenty of backup and this guy will not get to me, I promise. None of the others were ready for him, I will be." She looked around and saw that she and Maura were alone in the room and Maura's head was resting on her chest and she had her arms around her. She pulled her tighter in her embrace and enjoyed the moment despite the circumstances. "It'll be fine and then we can finish the conversation we started earlier."

"Can I still worry about you?" Maura pulled her head back so she could look up at Jane.

Jane looked down at the vision before her and smiled. "Can I stop you? Come on let's finish up here so we can get home to what we were doing before we were so rudely interrupted." She kissed Maura's forehead and pushed her towards the body. "Get to work Doc." Maura smiled and turned back to the body.

Jane stood and watched her for a few seconds before she turned to canvas the rest of the house for any evidence to lead her to who may be doing this. Maura found her upstairs sitting on the floor in what appeared to be the woman's bedroom looking through pictures. Maura walked in quietly and sat down beside her and took one of the pictures and looked down at it. "She even looks like she had the same childhood I did. Look at this one." Jane handed Maura a picture of the woman and what appeared to be her, two brothers and her parents. "I think I need to check Susan's side of the family and see what her family was like. Maybe there's a connection there."

Maura reached up and put her arm around Jane's shoulder. "Sweetie, you are the connection here."

Jane turned to look at her and Maura saw the ache in her eyes. "Maybe it was someone else that looks like me and he's killing them. If it was me why wouldn't he just start with me and leave it at that?"

"Maybe he wants to make you suffer as we all know you do." Maura pulled her closer and Jane rested her head on Maura's shoulder. Neither woman saw the two men standing at the door smiling. Korsak quietly signaled to Frost to head back downstairs. "I'm done down stairs, do you want me to take you back to the precinct or to your house?"

Jane turned her head and looked up at Maura. "Can we go to your place? I don't feel like being alone right now."

"Sure we can." Maura stood up effortlessly and reached down to help Jane to her feet. Jane looked like she was in a trance and she put up no resistance in any effort Maura made to help her. They walked back downstairs and when Jane found Frost and Korsak she told them she would see them in the morning. Maura led her to the car and walked around to the passenger side and helped Jane into the passenger then reached over and buckled her seatbelt then walked around to the driver's side.

"You just don't like the way I drive your baby here." Jane reached up and tapped the dashboard to indicate she was talking about the car but there was no humor in her voice.

Maura turned and gave Jane a quick glance. "Oh contraire my friend. I've never seen anyone who could handle a car as well as you can. You drive the same way you do everything, with confidence and precision." She reached over and placed her hand on Jane's thigh and smiled. "I trust you with my life why wouldn't I trust you with my car?" She said it as if was no big deal but Jane felt a lump in her throat.

Jane knew that Maura trusted her but until just then she didn't realize how deep that trust went. She knew she would protect Maura with her life but now she knew Maura knew that too. Jane placed her hand over Maura's as it still rested on her thigh. "Thank you, I guess I needed to hear that."

"Jane this is not your fault. You have to believe that. This sick bastard is going to play on the fact that you'll blame yourself and let the guilt eat you up. How many times have you told a survivor or victim the same thing? Now you have to convince yourself of the same thing."

Jane quickly turned to Maura. "I am not a victim Maura!"

"I know that Jane but you sure are acting like one. Look at you. You're blaming yourself for something you have nothing to do with except for the fact that they all look like you. What have you done to make this your fault? You were born looking the way you do, and may I say you look very very good to me." Maura had not turned away from watching the road the whole time she spoke.

There's that sexual flirtation again Jane thought. Is she trying to tell me something or is this just our regular flirting stepped up a notch? Whatever it is it's scaring the crap out of me. What if I'm interpreting it wrong and I make a move and she rejects me? I don't know if I could stand to be rejected by her. Jane just stared straight ahead and let the thoughts roll around in her head.

Maura took a quick glance at Jane and was worried she may have said too much and Jane didn't feel the same way. Back at the house before they got the phone calls she thought Jane was responding to her advances. Damn I wish I was better at this interpersonal communication thing. Was she reading it all wrong and has she already done irreparable damage to their relationship? Maybe she would just act as if nothing happened earlier and see what Jane does.

They pulled into Maura's garage at a few minutes past 11:00 p.m. and Maura immediately headed for the kitchen and a glass of wine. "Would you like a beer Jane?" She turned to see Jane standing in the middle of the living room just staring into space. Maura grabbed a beer and opened it as she walked out to the living room. She took Jane's hand and led her to the couch and made her sit before she handed her the beer. "Here drink some of this." She watched as Jane took a long swallow of the cold beer. "Feel better?" Jane just nodded her head but continued to stare at nothing in particular. "Jane?" Maura tugged on her hand a little to get her attention and soon Jane turned her head to face her. "Let's just go to bed and sleep on it ok? Whatever it is will be ok."

Jane took another long swig of the beer then set the bottle on the coffee table before she turned to Maura. "For some reason I just can't think straight right now. Maybe you're right we should sleep on it so I can reevaluate things in a better light in the morning. I think I'm going to head to bed. I'll see you in the morning." She turned and headed for the guest room.

"Jane?" Maura asked tentatively. "You know where I'll be if you need me for anything ok? I'm here for you."

Jane gave her the best smile she could muster up. "I know, I've always known. Thanks Maura. G'night." An hour later Jane was still tossing and turning wide awake. She knew she was not going to get any sleep tonight. She was more worried than she let on about these murders. She had realized with the first murder that the woman did look like her but she didn't want anyone else to worry. Damn I just get rid of my worst nightmare by killing Hoyt and here comes another psycho who wants me dead and by association puts Maura in danger again. Maybe I should have stayed away. She was still lying there thinking when the door was pushed open and Jane stopped herself from grabbing the gun under her pillow. Maura peeked in and when she saw that Jane was awake she pushed the door all the way open. "Maura you shouldn't sneak around like that, I could have shot you!"

"But you didn't." Maura whispered as she stood in the doorway. "I just wanted to check to make sure you were ok. I can see you're not sleeping either." She walked over to the bed and lay down on the empty side of the bed. "Do you mind?" She gestured toward the bed.

Jane reached over and pulled Maura closer and wrapped her arms around her as she had done many times when one or the other of them needed comforting. "Of course I don't mind. I was thinking about coming to you but I stopped myself."

"Why did you do that?" Maura felt Jane stiffen and immediately knew what the problem was. She sat up and pulled away from Jane. "Jane Rizzoli don't you dare put that wall up again! We are in this together whether you want it or not. You are my best friend and I am not going to let you go through this alone. I've never had a best friend before and I'm not about to let you crawl back under the rock you've be hiding under for the last week."

Jane was surprised by the anger behind Maura's words but she wasn't surprised that Maura knew what she was doing. No one knew her like Maura did. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you angry." Jane said almost meekly. "It's going to take me awhile to shut off my protective mode, please be patient with me." She wouldn't make eye contact with Maura because she didn't want to see the disappointment there. She felt Maura's hands on both sides of her face gently forcing her head up.

When Jane finally made eye contact and Maura knew she had her attention she spoke. "Jane all I want is for you to believe in me, believe in us, and let me take care of you for a change. This guy is not going to get close enough to you to do anything. I won't let him. We'll find a way to keep both of us safe."

"My hero." Jane smiled and pulled Maura back down to lay beside her. "Let's go to sleep ok?"

"Ok." Neither woman saw the look of disappointment on the other woman's face as they lay there in the dark. Maura was wondering if she missed an opportunity to let Jane know that she wanted to be more than a friend and she wanted to do more than comfort her. Jane was thinking much the same thing and it was the last thought she would have before she fell asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

'If I Had It To Do All Over Again

**Chapter 5**

_"Don't you touch her Hoyt!" She was fighting with the guard to get loose when she saw Hoyt climb on top of Maura. "Get off her you don't deserve to touch her!" She felt the blade make contact with her stomach as Hoyt swung around and buried the scalpel in her stomach. She looked up at him with a smile on her face as she reached down and pulled the scalpel out and buried it in his chest. "At least you didn't get Maura. I win." But Hoyt pushed himself up and walked towards Maura as Jane watched helplessly. "No!" She struggled to get up but couldn't move. All she could do was scream at Hoyt._

"Jane, wake up." Maura was scared. She'd been trying to wake her for awhile but Jane was locked in a struggle with her demons and she couldn't get through to her. "Jane!"

_"You touch her and I will kill you Hoyt!" _ Jane threw her arm to the right and inadvertently hit Maura in the face.

Maura wrapped both of her arms around Jane and started to rock her back and forth. She knew if Jane was having nightmares while she was here she could only imagine what she's been going through by herself for the last week. "Jane, its ok sweetie, come on wake up." She felt the moment when Jane started to come out of the dream. Her body started to relax into Maura's embrace.

She finally pulled out of Maura's arms so she could look at her. "Ah shit I did that didn't I?" Jane pointed to Maura bleeding nose and lip. She jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom and came back with a wet cloth and started to wipe the blood away. "I'm so sorry Maura. See why it's dangerous to be around me?"

"Jane it was an accident. I didn't duck in time." She smiled but winced and tried to turn away so Jane wouldn't see her in pain.

"Too late I already saw that wince. Stay here I'll be right back." Jane jumped up again and ran from the room. Maura sat there wondering what Jane was doing. She came running back into the room with a towel wrapped around some frozen peas. Jane gently placed the cloth on Maura's face and held it there, her other hand was wrapped around the back of Maura's neck and she was so close Maura could smell what she has decided is distinctly Jane. "I am so sorry. Where are your aspirin?" Maura pointed to the bathroom. Jane came back with two aspirin and a glass of water.

"Jane?" Maura reached up and turned Jane's face to look at her. "Are all of your dreams this violent?" All Jane could do is nod. Maura reached out and pulled Jane against her again. "Have you always had them or have they just started since the prison hospital.?"

"I've had them since Hoyt did this." She held up her hands to show the scars. "But they were always about me and I could handle them. Now they include you and that I can't handle. Every night I see him cut you over and over and some nights I get to you in time and other nights I don't. Those are the worst nights, I see him kill you and I can't stop him." Tears were streaming down Jane's cheeks by the time she said the last word. "I did that to you Maura, I took you in there and he could have killed you. I can't stand that. And like I said if I had it to do over again I would not have brought you with me."

"Jane look at me. I'm fine and that is because of you. You did what I couldn't do. I sat there and watched Jane, I sat there and let him taser me. I could have fought back but I didn't. But you did and there's no telling what could have happened if you hadn't killed him." She was barely inches from Jane's face by this time and she fought the urge to kiss her. Maura cleared her throat and stood up to take the cloth to the bathroom. When she came back Jane was laying down again. "How are you feeling now?"

"Better, you always know what to say to make me feel better. You can go back to your bedroom if you want to. I think I'll be ok." Jane kicked her boots off because she knew how much Maura hated them on her bed.

"Do you want me to go back to my room?" Jane's answer was to smile and pat the bed beside her. Maura's heart kicked into double time as she lay down and rested her hands on her stomach.

"We have to stop meeting like this, people are bound to talk." Jane turned her head to look at her friend and her heart dropped to her stomach at the beautiful smile on Maura's face.

"And would it bother you if they did?" Maura surprised herself by asking the question.

"That would imply that we were in a relationship and you already said I wasn't your type." Jane watched Maura's face very carefully.

"It's a woman's prerogative to change her mind isn't it?" Maura didn't turn away from Jane's intense gaze.

She spoke so softly that Jane almost missed what she said. She went up on her elbow so she could look down at Maura. "What are you saying Maura?" Jane tried very hard to not get her hopes up.

Maura turned her head away from Jane and stared at the ceiling. "If I were to kiss you right now would you push me away?" When Jane didn't answer she started to get up from the bed and leave. "I'll leave you alone."

Jane reached out and pulled Maura back towards her until she was laying down beside her again. "You didn't give me a chance to respond. I know I took my time but I wanted to be sure this is what you want and I hope this means what I think it means. Because right now I really want to kiss you." The smile that broke out on Maura's face was all the answer she needed. "Damn you're beautiful when you smile like that, well you're beautiful all the time but when you smile like that it makes my heart do summersaults."

"Jane? Stop talking and kiss me already would you? I've been waiting a long time for this." Maura reached up and placed her hand on the back of Jane's head and pulled her down. When their lips met she swore she felt sparks but she knew it was scientifically impossible. God this woman can kiss. Maura felt Jane's tongue on her lower lip and she opened her mouth to grant her entrance and she moaned when their tongues made contact for the first time.

When things were close to getting out of hand Jane pulled back. "Maura we have to stop. Not that I want to but if we don't I'm going to rip off what little you are wearing and make love to you until you are screaming my name."

"And what's wrong with that?" Maura looked down at Jane with a sexy smile on her face.

"You keep saying things like that and I'm not going to be able to control myself." Jane smiled down at Maura and gave her a quick kiss.

God that voice was sexy. Maura pushed Jane back down onto the bed then leaned forward and kissed her at the opening of her shirt. Jane's breathing hitched the moment Maura's lips made contact with her skin. "I love you and I have for years." She reached up and unbuttoned the first button and kissed the exposed skin

Jane reached up and placed a finger under Maura's chin to raise her head so she could look her in the eyes. "I have loved you since the first time you showed up at our first crime scene together in those 3 inch heels. God I thought you were the sexiest woman in the world, I still do. But I never thought you would feel the same." Jane leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on Maura's lips.

Maura almost cried at the gentleness of this tough woman. She'd never been kissed that way before and it made her feel so loved. "Jane I have always felt this way but you never showed any interest in me as anything other than a friend. Korsak pointed out to me today that we are already dating so I decided I wanted all of the perks that come with dating."

Once Jane got over the initial shock of what Maura said and regained her voice she pushed Maura back far enough to be able to look her in the eyes but still held her shoulders. "You talked to Korsak about us?"

"Yes, he came to visit me in autopsy and found me talking to myself and heard me say I was crazy in love with you and that's when he said we already did everything a couple does."

Jane smiled at Maura. "You're in love with me?" Maura nodded. "So what are these perks you mentioned?"

Maura tilted her head back so that she could see Jane's face. "For starters there would be this." She leaned down to kiss Jane. "Then there would be this." She unbuttoned another button and kissed Jane's chest just above the lace of her bra and felt the shiver flow through Jane's body. "And then I've had dreams of doing this." She reached up and grabbed the lapels of Jane's shirt and ripped them apart and smiled as buttons flew in all directions.

"So do I get to partake in these perks too?" Jane asked as she watched the childlike smile on Maura's face.

"Oh by all means, please do. What perks would you like Jane?"

"I would love to do the same to your clothes but yours probably cost as much as I make in a month." She said as she reached up to start unbuttoning Maura's pajama top at the same time Maura pushed Jane's shirt off her shoulders. Jane dropped her arms long enough to allow it to drop off her shoulders and threw it on the floor. She then reached up and finished unbuttoning Maura's top. When she removed it from her shoulders she leaned back and folded it and placed it on the chair beside the bed.. "Wouldn't want it to get wrinkled now would we?" She leaned down and kissed Maura's neck and sighed at the contact. "You have no idea how long I've wished this would happen. This is happening right?"

"Well I usually like to wait until the second date before I take someone to my bed but since we've already been dating for years I think we can safely say that yes this is definitely happening." She looked up and saw a slightly worried look on Jane's face. "What is it Jane?"

"I've never made love to a woman before and I'm not sure what to do. I have an idea but I don't want to disappoint you." She looked down at Maura and kissed her and Maura pulled her back as she tried to pull out of the kiss. She pushed Jane down on the bed and attacked Jane with renewed vigor.

Maura pulled out of the kiss and looked at Jane seriously for a moment. "I have never been with a woman either so I guess we'll have the chance to discover all of the ways we can please each other. So far you have done everything perfect so I don't think we are going to have any problems." She reached forward and pulled Jane to her for another mind blowing kiss. "I never realized how different it would feel to kiss a woman. It's softer."

"I know what you mean, I do know I really like kissing you." Jane finally stood up and shed the rest of her clothes and helped Maura remove the rest of hers. "My god!" Jane said with awe in her voice. "You are perfect. I knew you were beautiful but my dreams did not do you justice." Jane moved to the bottom of the bed and stared down at Maura. "You are gorgeous Maura."

"I can say the same thing about you Jane." Jane was tempted to cover herself at the hungry look in Maura's eyes but she forced herself to stand there. "I have always admired your flat stomach but the total package is simply amazing." Come here Jane. Maura held her arms out to Jane.

"I'll be there in a minute I have something I want to do." She reached down and took Maura's foot in her hands and lifted it to her lips and kissed the inside of her ankle. She slowly licked and kissed her way up one leg and she smiled at the moan of frustration when she reached the apex of her legs but didn't stop on her way back down the other one. "You taste good. I've always loved the way you smelled and now I know you taste just as good as you smell." She slithered her body up Maura's legs and started licking and kissing once she reached Maura's stomach.

Maura's hips started moving as she tried to make more contact with Jane's body and moaned in frustration as Jane kept pulling away. "Are you sure you've never done this before Jane?" Jane shook her head as she continued her exploration with her tongue and lips. "I am so ready for you right now and if you don't touch me soon I'm going to explode."

"Now Maura, you know that's not scientifically possible. I'm surprised I have to point that out to you you being the smart one and all." Jane reached up and took one of Maura breasts in her hand and moaned. "God I've wanted to do this since that night at the Merch when you wore that skimpy outfit that showed off all of your assets. And let me tell you, you have some very appealing assets." Jane had made her way up Maura's body so that she could take the other pert nipple into her mouth. Both women moaned at the contact and Maura's hips renewed their effort to make contact with Jane.

"Please Jane I'm dying here. Please touch me." Maura groaned again in frustration.

"A little impatient are we?" She moved her mouth to the other breast she had been kneading with her hand. "I'm having too much fun and I don't want it to end." She looked up at Maura and smiled.

"It won't be ending Jane." Maura could barely talk she was breathing so hard and was more turned on than she'd ever been. "It will just be moving on to something else. Please I need you inside me."

"Will you let me know if something doesn't feel right?" Jane asked rather hesitantly.

Maura reached down and pulled Jane up to her. "You're following your instincts and so far they have been so right on the spot. Just keep letting it happen naturally." She pulled her head down to meet her own lips and soon they were both breathing hard and Jane's hand slowly made its way down Maura's body.

Jane pulled out of the kiss so she could watch Maura's face her hand moved lower. "God you're so wet." She dipped her finger into the wetness then brought it to her lips all the while never taking her eyes off of Maura. "You taste even better than you smell, and you smell fantastic."

Maura was sure she had never seen anything as sexy as Jane bringing her finger to her lips with her juices on them. "Jane if you don't do something soon I am going to have to take care of myself. Please."

"That's a sight I look forward to seeing but we'll have to save that for some other time. Tell me how you like it Maura." She reached down and didn't hesitate when she entered her completely for the first time. "Do you want it slow and steady?" And she demonstrated slow and steady as she entered her and pulled her fingers almost all of the way out then entered her again. "Or do you want it a little faster?" She sped up her pace. She kept her eyes on Maura and loved what she was able to do to her friend/lover. She watched as Maura's hands grabbed for the bedding and her head was thrown back in ecstasy. "Or do you want it hard and fast? My personal favorite." She plunged her fingers in as deep as she could and pulled them out then plunged back in. She set a frantic paced and almost came herself as she watched Maura's hips match her stroke for stroke. "God you are beautiful Maura. Especially moving like this. You are so hot."

"Jane I'm so close." Maura's eyes closed and she felt herself ready to fall over the edge.

"Look at me Maura." Maura opened her eyes and looked at Jane. "I want you to look at me. I want to watch you. Keep your eyes open."

"I'll…try…god…I'm…so…close…JANE!" Maura screamed her release.

"Let it go sweetie, you are so damn beautiful." Jane continued to plunge in and out of Maura until she felt the last of the spasms leave Maura's body. She removed her hand and crawled up and lay down next to Maura and pulled the blanket up over the two of them then pulled Maura to her so she could hold her while her breathing returned to normal. "That was amazing Maura."

"I think that's supposed to be my line." Maura said weakly.

Jane turned on her side and rested her head on her hand so she could look down at Maura. "But that was fantastic. Watching you come like that was like nothing I've ever experienced before. God it was amazing." She looked down at Maura and couldn't stop smiling. She leaned down and gave her a loving kiss.

Maura reached her hand up to pull Jane in for another kiss but her hand dropped back onto the bed. "Look at that. I don't even have the strength to lift my arm. I don't think that's ever happened before. I've never had an orgasm that strong before. And to borrow your phrase, that was amazing. I love you Jane.

"And I love you too Maura." She leaned down and gave Maura another kiss. "Let's go to sleep."

"But your sexual satisfaction must be considerably less than you desired." Maura looked up at her sadly. "Give me time to rest up and regain my strength."

Jane laughed. "If you mean am I sexually frustrated I am but not as much as I've been in the past just thinking about doing this to you. I can wait. Right now I just want to sleep."

"You don't want me to make love to you?" Maura's look of sadness turned to one of confusion and hurt.

Jane pulled her to her chest. "Oh quite the contrary, I want you to ravish my body over and over again but we've got time for that later. Let's go to sleep. I just want to hold you."

"Make no mistake Jane Rizzoli, when we wake up, I will ravish your delectable body over and over again."

Jane's body shivered in response to her words. "Gives me something to look forward to for a change over the past week. I'm sorry I acted the way I did. I thought I was doing what would be best for you. I didn't want anything to happen to you."

"I know that now, but it hurt like hell while it was happening." Maura turned her head enough to be able to kiss Jane's chin.

"Believe me I know it did. I was hurting too, and there were so many times I wanted to call you and talk to you but then I remembered why I was doing it and I stopped myself. I love you too much to let anything happen to you and I thought by staying away it would keep you safe. What are you doing?" Jane looked down and saw the smug smile on Maura's face as she felt her hand on her stomach moving lower.

"Are you still tired Jane?"


	6. Chapter 6

'If I Had It To Do All Over Again

**Chapter 6**

Maura smiled as she moved her hand down Jane's leg and watched as Jane's breathing became slightly ragged. All Jane could do was shake her head. "I didn't think you were tired. I seem to remember something about you saying your personal favorite was hard and fast. But I like a slow build up to hard and fast. Let me know what you like ok?" Jane just nodded. Maura leaned her head down and took one of Jane's small nipples in her mouth.

"God Maura that feels so good." Her hips moved of their own accord and Maura did nothing to stop them. She threw her own leg over one of Jane's and she started rubbing herself against Jane's leg as she raised it up to make better contact. She made sure her own leg was making contact with Jane's very wet core. "Aw shit! I'm not going to last long Maura." Maura reached down between their bodies and entered her with two fingers then used her leg to push as deep as possible inside her. She pulled her fingers out then plunged them back in and curled her fingers once inside Jane. "Oh god that feels sooo good. You've done this before haven't you?"

"Only to myself as I thought about you."

"Ah shit that is so sexy. Maura I'm so close, harder, please." Jane's hips were setting the pace and Maura willingly followed along.

"Come for me baby. Will you look at me like I did for you?" She watched as Jane opened her eyes and looked at Maura. Maura started rubbing herself harder against Jane's leg all the while maintaining eye contact with Jane.

Jane was breathing hard and she knew she was close but she was getting hotter watching Maura rub against her leg. "Maura come with me. I want us to come together." Jane moved her leg so that she could match the rhythm Maura was setting. Maura moved up and kissed Jane's neck then whispered in her ear.

"God Jane you are so beautiful. Come for me." She curled her fingers inside Jane and felt her walls start to close around her fingers and knew she was close. "Let go Jane." Just then Jane felt as if her body exploded. She thought she was going to pass out but she opened her eyes and looked into Maura's eyes and the look she was giving her righted her world again. Then she watched as Maura's orgasm hit her and once again she couldn't believe how gorgeous this woman was.

"I think I know what they now mean when they say the right partner makes all the difference in the world." She pulled Maura into her arms and brushed back the wet tendrils of hair clinging to her face. "Have I told you today how beautiful you are?"

"I seem to recall hearing it once or twice today but I'll never get tired of hearing it from you." She turned her head and kissed Jane with what strength she had left. She started to laugh when she watched Jane trying to stifle a yawn. "Ok, I think it's time we both got some sleep." She reached down and pulled the blanket again and covered both of them. "I've always loved to snuggle with you but I think I like feeling your body with no clothes versus your body fully clothed." She snuggled as close as she could get to Jane and stifled her own yawn.

She felt Jane's arms go around her protectively. "I like the feel of your body against me too. Now stop talking and let's go to sleep." The last words said as she finally gave in to the yawn she had been trying to suppress were "I love you Maura."

"I love you too Jane." She laid her head down on Jane's chest and lay there long after Jane fell asleep. Maura loved Jane with all her heart and had since she saw her at their first crime scene. She was lost when she looked up from the body and followed those long legs up to the small waist then past that waist to that gorgeous face. She looked down as Jane slept and knew they were meant to be together. But at that moment Maura was worried. She could not forget the fact that two women were dead and they were Jane's spitting image and she wondered what she had to do with Jane. She was a scientist, she did not believe in coincidences, there was a reason for everything. What was the reason for these two look alikes? That was her last thought before she fell asleep.

Jane woke the next morning in bed alone. Was it a good or bad thing? She got out of bed and headed for the bathroom. When she came back out she smelled coffee and smiled. That meant that Maura didn't leave, which would be stupid because they were at her house. She found a pair of her shorts and a tank top and followed the coffee smell. She entered the kitchen and smiled when she saw Maura sitting at the table drinking coffee and reading the paper in a robe. Maura looked up when she heard Jane enter the kitchen and smiled. "Good morning Jane. Would you like some breakfast." Maura asked somewhat tentatively.

"Yes I would like some breakfast but first…can I have a kiss?" Maura jumped up and ran across the kitchen and threw herself into Jane's arms. "Now that's a greeting I could get used to."

"I wasn't sure what kind of greeting to expect this morning. I wasn't sure if you'd regret last night or not."

Jane wasn't used to this side of Maura. She was always so sure of herself and she didn't like the idea that Maura was unsure of things between the two of them. Jane wrapped her arms around Maura and pulled her against her body. "What I said last night still stands this morning. I love you and have for a very long time and I'm not going to let you get away."

Maura pulled Jane's head down for a searing kiss. "I wasn't planning on going anywhere but I wasn't sure how you would feel this morning. I'm glad nothing has changed."

"Everything has changed Maura." She saw the uncertain look on Maura's face. "No sweetie, it's a good thing. Now I can kiss you whenever I want, I don't have to hide my feelings from you. Do you have any idea how hard it's been to watch you go out on your dates and then listen to you tell me how they went?"

Maura nodded. "Don't you think it's strange that I always found something wrong with my dates? Things never went beyond a couple of dates because they weren't you. I found myself on my dates comparing the men to you. You come around to my side of the car and help me out of the car, you hold doors for me, when we are walking through a crowd I always feel your hand on my lower back. I feel protected when I'm with you, not smothered like some of my dates made me feel. There was always something missing and I think I finally know what that was."

Jane looked at her quizzically. "Are you going to tell me or make me guess?"

"What was missing was you." She leaned into Jane and captured her lips and allowed Jane to deepen the kiss. "Do you still want some breakfast?"

"Yes I still want breakfast." Jane started nibbling on Maura's neck. "But I decided I want you for breakfast." Jane wrapped her arms around Maura and lifted her up and sat her down on the counter top. She reached for the belt on the robe and was surprised when she dropped the tie that Maura was naked under her robe. "Oh…my…god! I guess last night wasn't a dream. You are a goddess, you are perfection personified. You are stunning."

Maura blushed under Jane's praise but reveled in it as well. She had been told by men that she was beautiful but none had said it the way Jane did. When Jane said it she believed it. She watched Jane's face as her eyes roamed over her body. The awe in her eyes made her want to cry, she felt so special. "Jane you make me feel so special."

"You are special Maura." Jane stood up between her legs and pulled her forward. "Anyone who doesn't see that must be blind. Your body is what dreams are made of, and my dreams did you an injustice." Jane reached behind Maura's knees and pulled her flush against her stomach. She reached up and took both breasts in her hands and watched as both nipples became rock hard. She leaned forward and took one between her teeth and moaned at how good she tasted. "Damn woman you taste so good." Jane kissed her way down Maura's abdomen until she made it to the soft curls at the apex of her legs. "You smell good too." Jane pulled Maura a little further towards and she could not stop the groan that passed her lips. "God damn you fucking taste great."

"Jane that feels so good. I've never done this on a counter top before but I think I like it." She moaned when Jane renewed her efforts to get as close to Maura as she possibly could with her mouth. She reached up and without hesitating she plunged two fingers into the oh so wet core of the woman before her and they both moaned. Jane entered Maura with two fingers and curled them like Maura had the night before and Maura yelped. "Damn Jane I don't know how much longer I can last I'm already so close." Maura looked down and almost lost it at the sight of Jane clearly enjoying herself between her legs. Maura's hips almost left the counter as she kept rhythm with Jane's thrusts and before she knew it her body was being wracked with spasms like she had never felt before. "JANE!" She didn't care if she woke the whole neighborhood or not she couldn't hold back her response. "Oh…shit…that...feels…so… good!" The spasms started to subside and Jane slowed her fingers and became loving and gentle in her ministrations.

Jane stood up and leaned forward to kiss Maura who moaned at the taste of herself on Jane's lips. "You are amazing Maura Isles. Did I hear you swearing?" Slowly ever so slowly she started to scissor her fingers inside Maura again.

"No Jane I can't take anymore." But her hips had other ideas.

Jane wrapped her arm around Maura's waist and pulled her towards her again. "Oh I think you can. I want you so much." She leaned in and captured Maura's mouth in another toe curling kiss then moved her mouth to her neck. She kissed and licked her way to her ear. "Your mouth is saying one thing but your body says another." Jane was moving slowly so as not to build it up to fast.

"How can I be ready again so soon? This has never happened before. It feels so good to have you inside me Jane." Maura reached up and took Jane's face between her hands so she could look her in the eyes. Jane was almost surprised by the serious look on her face. "I love you so much Jane." Maura pulled Jane towards her so that she could control the kiss. She licked Jane's lips until she opened her mouth and gave Maura's tongue entrance and their tongues dueled for dominance. She felt Jane finally give control to Maura and she took the opportunity to completely explore Jane's mouth. Maura had never been the aggressor when making love and she found she liked being in charge.

Jane loved the feel of Maura taking control but she kept her fingers moving inside her to maintain a little bit of her control. She'd never really enjoyed love making all that much. It was more or less a means to an end. But with Maura it was very enjoyable, she loved the way Maura's body responded to her touch and it was a heady sensation. "Maura I love the way you respond to my touch. If I'm not careful it may go to my head."

Maura giggled at Jane's playfulness. "I think it may have something to do with the fact that I love the way you touch me." She felt Jane start to move her fingers a little faster and her body responded. "See what you do to me Jane?"

"Yes Maura I see what I do to you and you have no idea what that does to me. God you are the answer to my dreams Maura, real and imagined. I never thought this would happen but I am so glad it did." She renewed her efforts to please Maura and soon she was watching as Maura gripped the edge of the counter top and her body was wracked with her orgasm. Jane couldn't help but be struck by how perfect this moment was. She held Maura as her heart beat slowly returned to normal and kissed her gently on the cheek. Jane picked her up and carried her to the couch and sat down with her on her lap. She reached behind her and pulled the blanket from the back of the couch and wrapped it around Maura and pulled her close.

Maura snuggled into Jane's embrace and kissed her neck. "You are an amazing lover. I'm not sure I'm going to be able to keep up with you."

"Making love in the past has always been somewhat mundane. It was a means to an end. But with you it's different. With you I take pleasure in pleasing you and it doesn't hurt that you respond to my touch in such a sexy way. I've never been like this, I want you again already but I'll let you rest." Jane's honesty surprised Maura.

"I didn't say I didn't want to keep up with you, I will do my best, and I will make the sacrifice." While she was talking she was carefully changing her position so that she was now straddling Jane's lap and she was on her knees. She reached down between their bodies and gave a sigh of frustration when she encounter Jane's shorts. She shimmied down Jane's legs and knelt in front of her then reached for the waistband and pulled them down those long luscious legs. She stayed on her knees as she looked up at Jane and saw that she was watching her intently and her eyes had turned almost black. She kissed the inside of her thighs, alternating from one to another. Jane's hips were already responding to Maura's touch. She grabbed Jane's thighs and pulled her towards her so that she was almost lying down on the couch and her hips were right on the edge. Maura kissed her way to the dark curls above her and took her first taste of Jane. She could not contain the moan that escaped her lips.

"God Maura you have no idea how good that feels." Jane's hands were trying to find something to grab onto as her body responded in a way it never had before. She finally grabbed the cushion on the couch as if her life depended upon it. "Maura I've never felt…shit Maura…I'm so close. Maura!" Jane actually screamed her name, something she'd never done before. She'd never been a vocal person during sex, but then again she never experienced this kind of sex before. Maura had moved back up to the couch and was holding Jane as she came down from her climax. Jane turned her head so she could look at Maura. "That was fantastic, no one had ever done that to me before."

"Done what before?" Maura asked as she brushed some hair out of Jane's face. "I know you've climaxed before. So what do you mean?"

Jane sat up then turned to face Maura. "No one has ever done that to me before." Maura watched as Jane blushed a bright shade of red. Her tough cop was embarrassed talking about sex but now was not the time to exploit that. "No man has ever seemed interested in doing that and I never knew what I was missing until now. God that felt wonderful."

"Now you know how I felt earlier. I can't believe you've never experienced cunnilingus before."

Jane shook her head. "But now that I have…well, you know." She smiled at Maura and wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. Jane got serious and reached over and pulled Maura into a tight embrace. "God I love you." After they both showered and changed they spent the next few hours on the couch watching TV and taking time to just be together. Their phones rang about noon and Jane reached forward to the coffee table and handed Maura her phone as she answered her own. They hung up at about the same time and Jane pulled Maura into a tight embrace. "Duty calls. I'm going to head to my place and change clothes. I'll meet you at the scene." She kissed Maura very intently. "I love you."

"I love you too. See you at the scene." Maura stood up and watched as Jane walked out the door.

Maura arrived at the scene about 20 minutes later and found Korsak and Frost in the kitchen. "Jane will be here shortly. This is starting to get old." She said as she looked up at the dark haired woman hanging from the ceiling fan. She did her cursory inspection then watched as they cut the woman down. Twenty minutes later Maura turned to Korsak. "Has Jane shown up yet?"

Both Korsak and Frost gave each other a worried look. They both shook their heads. Korsak pulled out his phone and dialed the number he knew by heart and listened to it ring. "Hey Jane its Korsak, give me a call back ok? Where was she going before she came here?" He asked as he turned to Maura.

They watched as Maura blushed. "She was going to run by her house to change clothes. She spent the night at my house." They all turned and headed for the door at the same time.

They started walking down the driveway to their cars. Frost stopped and they all turned back towards him. "That's Jane's car." He pointed to the police issue unit Jane always drove.


	7. Chapter 7

'If I Had It To Do All Over Again

**Chapter 7**

"No, no this can't be happening again." Maura felt her knees start to weaken so she took a deep breath and tried to go into work mode.

"It doesn't really mean anything." Korsak tried to reassure her.

"Oh really Vince, how can it not mean anything?" She heard the accusatory tone of her voice but she couldn't stop herself. "When was the last time Jane didn't show up for a crime scene. Her car is here." She looked inside and saw Jane's gun and badge on the passenger seat. "Her gun and badge are here and we all know she would never willingly give them up."

Frost went around to the passenger side and pulled on some gloves then opened the door. He squatted down and reached towards the floor. "Looks like he hit her with a quick acting sedative or something." He said as he held up a syringe with his gloved hand as he placed it in an evidence envelop. "But why would he leave it here?"

"To tell us he has her." Both Frost and Korsak turned to Maura. "He's playing with us, he wants us to know he has her. Do you think he'll contact us?" Maura was trying very hard not to cry but she knew if she didn't get away from Jane's car she was going to lose it.

Korsak wasn't sure how to handle the Doc in this situation. He wasn't good with women crying, but seeing the normally strong unemotional Maura Isles close to tears was his undoing. He walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her and Maura lost it. "We'll get her back Maura. She tough and one hell of a fighter, as we already know."

"Thanks for trying to reassure me but Jane also told me that she wouldn't let him take her because she was ready for him. Apparently she wasn't. We need to analyze what was in the syringe, and that might tell me how long she'll be out. That way we'll know how much time we have to find her. The first woman was alive for hours before she died so maybe he played with her first." She cringed at the thought of him doing the things to Jane that had been done to the other women. "I hadn't finished my autopsy on the second woman but she was in much the same condition as the first. Not all of the stab wounds were deep enough to cause death but certainly deep enough to inflict pain. She died slowly and painfully but they weren't drugged. I think he killed this last one to draw Jane out and now he is going to take his time with her."

"Damn Maura you've been spending too much time with Jane you're starting to think like a cop but your scenario certainly fits. Let's get back to the office so we can start digging to see who has our girl so we can go get her." Korsak called for CSU to be ready then called to have Jane's car towed back to the garage for CSU to go over with a fine toothed comb. Maura gave Korsak a small smile and headed for her car. "Whoa where ya going? You're not driving. I'll have an officer bring your car by the office so that you can drive your girlfriend home once we find her." He looked at the shocked expression on Maura's face. "What? You think I haven't noticed the difference between the two of you?"

"We thought we were hiding it fairly well." Maura headed towards the car Korsak indicated. He opened the passenger side and held Maura's arm as she sat and belted herself in. "Does Frost know?" She asked as she watched Frost walking towards the car.

"He was the one that brought it to my attention the day after you had your 7:00 p.m. appointment. The two of you were back to your old ways."

Frost climbed in the back seat. "Jane's a kick ass cop and she's going to come out of this just fine Dr. Isles."

"How many times do I have to tell you to call me Maura? We've worked together for years yet you still call me Doctor Isles. Please call me Maura."

"Ok Doct…Maura. But I still think Jane will be able to handle herself."

"So what are we going to be looking for once we get back to the office?" Maura turned to Korsak.

"We check the computer to see if any of the guys she arrested have recently been released from prison and are taking revenge for starters."

"Then why kill the other women? Why not just come after Jane instead of killing three innocent women? That just proves to me that he's a sick son of a bitch and he's going to do the same thing to Jane that he did to those women maybe even worse." She turned her head to look out the window and effectively silenced any further conversation. All three of them we're lost in their own thoughts as they pulled into the precinct parking lot. Maura immediately opened her door and headed for the door. "I will let you know exactly what he used when I get the tox report. You two get to work trying to find Jane's abductor." She turned and hurried to the morgue.

Korsak and Frost looked at each other and had to smile despite the circumstances. "We better find Jane or we'll have to answer to her." Korsak pointed to the door that Maura had just entered.

"I don't think that would be pleasant so let's get to work. I'll access the courts database and see if I can get a list of recent parolees. Aren't they supposed to notify us if someone that is a threat to the arresting officer is released?"

"Yeah but you know how these things are, they slip through the cracks. But let's start there and work back over her cases. I'm going to make a few calls and see what I can find out."

Jane was slowly becoming aware of her surroundings. She was in a basement somewhere and she would bet money it wasn't anywhere near Boston. It was then she also realized her hands were tied above her head and they were hooked over a large hook. Her feet could still touch the floor but just barely so she was not able to take any pressure off of her arms. "Damn I promised Maura this wouldn't happen. How could I let this happen?"

"You didn't let it happen I made it happen." Jane looked up but all of the sudden there was a bright light in her eyes and she couldn't see who was speaking.

"So what did you use to knock me out?" Jane tried to remain calm when every bone in her body was telling her to scream.

"Etorphine. My brother is a vet and I stole some from his office. It works pretty good doesn't it? I may have given you too much because you've been out for quite some time."

Jane tried squinting to see if she could see through the light but all she could make out was a silhouette. "So how long have I been out?"

"About 4 hours." He saw Jane smile. "What are you smiling about? You're not exactly in a position to be smiling."

"Well you see, your miscalculation in the dosage has given my team just that much more time to figure out who you are and find this hell hole. So I assume I'm going to die like the other three women so maybe you can tell me a few things about yourself. How about we start with who the hell you are." She let her anger loose by the end of the sentence and yelled the last few words. "And why did you kill three innocent women to get to me?" She felt the change in the tension in the ropes before she heard the machinery kick in, then next thing she knew her feet were no longer touching the ground.

"I'll be back in a few minutes and I will tell you everything except my name." The light went out as fast as it came on and she was left in complete darkness. She felt the blade make contact with her stomach before she realized he was still in the room. "This is just a taste of the fun yet to come."

This time she knew he had left the room, she felt the emptiness. She felt the cut wasn't deep but it sure hurt like hell. "Why do I always wear white on the days someone draws blood? Maybe I should look into wearing colors more often like Maura suggested." At the thought of Maura she grew serious. Life just isn't fair, she thought. Things finally start falling into place, she gets rid of Hoyt and her and Maura find each other, then this psycho shows up. "What do I have to do to get a fair shake?"

Korsak frantically motioned to Frost. "Get ready to trace this call, it's Jane's cell. Where's Jane you son of a bitch?" Maura happened to walk into their office at the same time he said this and she sat down at Jane's desk listening intently.

"Detective Korsak that's no way to greet an old friend. Tell Frost I need Jane's IP address so you can see what's happening to Jane."

"Can I put you on speaker?" Korsak asked.

"Sure." He heard the click signaling the speaker phone was on. "Frost don't even try to trace this call. I learned a lot while I was in prison thanks to Detective Rizzoli. One of the things I did while in prison is work on the computers. It's amazing what you can learn with nothing else to do with your time. So Frost how many towers have I bounced off of so far? It's useless so just give me the IP address and sit back and enjoy the show." Frost gave him Jane's IP address. "Give me a few minutes to go see how our girl is doing and get this set up, just keep the computer on." Frost walked over to Jane's desk and booted up her laptop and then all three of them gathered around the desk.

"He used Etorphine to knock her out which is available to veterinarians so you may want to check on that Barry. Vince he called you an old friend what did he mean?"

"Must mean it's a case Jane and I worked together. I guess we can start narrowing the search using that information too."

Jane looked up as the door slammed open but she still could not make out anything about this guy. "Could I have something to drink?" She asked as the light went on again.

"In good time. Give me a minute." She watched as he setup a camera and watched the green light come on. "I'm going to set up one way communications with Frost and Korsak, they'll be able to see and hear us but they won't be able to talk back to you."

"It's a miracle! You found a way to keep people from talking back to me, can I use it on my Ma? Hey guys I'd wave but as you can see I'm tied up at the moment."

"Oh Rizzoli that was bad. Now I will tell you why I am doing this and why I killed those other women." Jane heard a chair scrape across the floor and saw his silhouette sit in front of her.

"What about my water?" Jane asked hopefully.

"I supposed. Hang on." He walked to the corner and Jane heard water running. She listened intently as he walked back across the room. She watched as the silhouette crossed in front of her and she kicked out as hard as she could making contact with his head. He threw the water in her face and picked up something in the corner. "You're going to regret that bitch." He swung the pipe as hard as he could as he made contact with her ribcage over and over again. She was unconscious by the time his anger subsided. He turned towards the camera. "She should not have made me angry, she's just making it harder than it has to be." He turned and left the room.

"I don't know if I can stand to watch this." Maura said from Jane's desk where Frost had set up Jane's computer. She looked up at both men and saw a combination of anger and pain on their faces, but mostly anger. "But I also want to be here for her. I know she can't see me but I hope she'll know I'm here." Korsak placed his hand on her shoulder wishing he could say something to make her feel better but he knew nothing would help. He watched her crying as she stared at the computer screen and felt as if he was intruding on a very private moment.

"But think about how good she felt when she got that kick in." The three of them turned around as Crowe stood looking over their shoulder. He was staring at the computer and for the first time he wasn't berating Jane. "She probably planned the whole thing and waited for just the right time and she got in the only shot she knew she'd be able to get. She's not giving up, she's a fighter." He looked around the room and lowered his head and walked to his desk.

"Thank you Detective Crowe, Jane would appreciate you saying that." Maura turned back to the screen. "What about Angela and Frankie, should we contact them?" She said this without taking her eyes off the screen.

"I'll go downstairs and talk to her mother myself. Frost why don't you try to find Frankie and tell him to get over here. Maura do you want anything from the diner while I'm down there?" All Maura did is shake her head.

Maura heard a chair being pulled up beside Jane's desk and turned to see Lieutenant Cavanaugh sitting there. "How's she doing?" He cringed when he saw Jane on the screen.

"He took a pipe to her ribcage after she kicked him." She heard him laugh beside her. Maura turned to him and gave him a small smile. "Yeah she got him in the side of the head. But it sure angered him, that was when he grabbed the pipe."

"Yeah but at least she got a good shot in first."

"I don't understand you men." She stood up and started pacing back and forth not even hiding her anger. "Why is it that you all seem to concentrate on the fact that she got one kick in that didn't even do any damage? She's hanging there defenseless and if we don't find her soon he's going to kill her. Yet you all seem to think it's important that she got that one kick in. Why is that?" Tears were streaming down Maura's cheeks as she finished her tirade. She turned and sat back down at Jane's desk.

"Dr. Isles that one kick was her way of proving to herself that she wasn't defenseless." Lt. Cavanaugh hoped he was able to get through to her how important that one kick was to Jane's survival.

"She's telling him that he's going to have one hell of a fight on his hands and that she wasn't going down easy." Crowe said from his desk.

"She's showing that she's one tough bitch and that if he gives her the opportunity she'll do it again."

"But Lieutenant what good does that do her?" Maura said just as Angela ran into the room.

"It gives her hope." He stood, patted Maura on the shoulder then went back to his office.

"Oh my god what has he done to her?" Angela asked as she pulled up a chair next to Maura. She reached over and took Maura's hand and Maura squeezed it. Maura looked around the room and smiled when she saw Korsak enter the room with a box in his arms. "I packed food for everybody so we could eat if we need to. Vince why don't you bring Maura a sandwich?"

"Thank you Angela but I don't think I could eat right now." Maura was staring at the screen when she saw Jane move. "She's awake!"

"Hey guys I hope you find me soon because I don't know how many more times I can kick this guy. Frost keep an eye on the time, that might help you find me. Maura I'm sorry I didn't keep my promise of being careful and not letting this guy get me. I love you. Leave her alone guys. Shit my ribs hurt. Ma if you're there I didn't go looking for this, he found me."

"Frost what does she mean, keep an eye on the time?" Korsak asked Frost who was sitting at his desk trying to locate Frankie.

"I have no idea. Let me think for awhile."

"She doesn't have awhile, she's trying to tell you something now you have to know what she means."

"Vincent give the boy a break. Barry you take your time but don't take too much time." Angela said as she looked up from the computer screen.

"Ah shit he's back, Ma, Maura don't watch ok? Go to the bathroom or something." They watched as Jane turned towards the door. "So are you going to finally tell me what I did to warrant this? What did I ever do to you?"

He carefully walked up in front of her and kept an eye on her feet. "You put me in prison you bitch." He drove the knife into her side as deep as he could and watched as she struggled to breathe.


	8. Chapter 8

'If I Had It To Do All Over Again

**Chapter 8**

There was a collective gasp in the squad room by all who had been watching as he stabbed Jane. Maura felt Angela squeeze her hand even tighter and even though it hurt she said nothing. She knew what Angela was feeling. It was one thing to see the aftermath of some of Jane's encounters with the seedier side of life but it was totally different to watch as it was actually happening. She looked up as Frankie came into the room and watched as his facial expression went from curious to worry. "What's going on?" He looked around the room and realized there was one person missing. "Where's Jane? Ma what are you doing here?"

Angela stood up from Jane's desk and slowly walked towards her son. "Jane's been taken by someone she arrested. See why I hate you two being cops? You never know who's gonna hold a grudge."

"Ma I don't think now is the right time to be bringing that up. You're in a room full of cops who believe it's their job to put their lives on the line and if someone holds a grudge it's just a part of the job." He walked up next to Maura and looked at the computer screen. "Shit!"

"Watch your language Frankie. You've been spending too much time around Janie and her mouth."

Frankie couldn't remember the last time he felt this helpless and angry at the same time. He took a deep breath before he turned back to his mother. "Ma, that's not just another cop on that computer screen it's my sister and your daughter. If there's a time for swearing now's the time. Jane puts her life on the line every day she goes to work and for that I am proud of her and one of the reasons I followed in her footsteps."

"See I knew you became a cop because of her." Angela said defensively.

"Yeah Ma I became a cop because of Jane because I believed she was doing a good thing and I still do. Look around you Ma, this room is full of cops and half of them don't even work in this department. I bet some of them are here on their day off. Every one of these cops is here because of Jane, not just because she's a cop but because in one way or another she touched their lives. Did you know that when one of the cops had a baby Jane went over there and cooked enough meals to keep them going for about a week? I bet you didn't because she doesn't brag about the good things she does and you only dwell on the negative things. You thought she was irresponsible for going down in that basement after Hoyt with no backup, well the woman whose life she saved thinks she's a hero and tells her that as often as she can when Jane visits her. Hoyt was about to cut her throat when Jane distracted him. And where do you think I would be if she hadn't shot herself, ask Maura, I'd be dead. Ma she saved my life. Sure she's put a lot of guys behind bars who hold a grudge and one has come back to punish her whose fault is that? You say it's Jane's, I blame the system because apparently this guy should never have been released. Now I'm going to go talk to Korsak and see what I can do to help find my sister, I would suggest you go down to the diner and fix more food because this is going to be a long day." Frankie turned around and walked away leaving a stunned Angela standing there.

Maura sat and thought about the things Frankie had said and realized she had done the same things he said Angela did. She hadn't met her before the Hoyt case but she had thought Jane should have waited for backup but the way Frankie tells it gives her a different perspective. And she had always been angry at Jane for shooting herself even when she knew Frankie would not have survived it she hadn't done what she did. She'd just never met a person as selfless as Jane, someone who put everyone else above herself. Maura looked over at Angela sitting next to her and thought that maybe she was also seeing her daughter in a different perspective. "I'm going to prepare some food, at least I'll feel useful." Maura watched as Angela stood up and headed out the door. Maura looked back to the screen and prayed that Jane would have the strength to withstand whatever this bastard could dish out.

"Hey Maura…is this how…they stretch short…people like you?" Maura had to laugh at Jane's ridiculous comment and the fact that her sense of humor was still intact. "Well I'm here…to tell you this…sucks, and it hurts like hell. Besides I like you…just the way… you are. Are you guys working…on getting me out of here? Better hurry up…'cuz I think my right…shoulder just popped out…and that is going to make…it hard for me to kick him. Maura is popping…a shoulder back in…like fixing my nose that day? Shit here he comes. Hey jerk, are you going…to tell me who…you are this time?"

"Let's sit and talk, maybe something will click in that mind of yours. So what do you want to know, besides my name, you're going to have to figure that one out on your own?"

"When did…I arrest…you? And where…was it?" Jane was having problems breathing and it began to worry Maura.

"Well let me see, I've spent the last 5 years in prison so that would be just after you joined the homicide division. Korsak was your partner, I hear he's now your boss."

"He's not my boss…he just outranks me." Jane tried to take in a deep breath but found she couldn't. She looked directly into the camera. "Maura…I think you may…have to do to me…what you did…to Frankie."

The chair scraped and Jane felt him cut her on the other side this time. "Why don't you just come out and tell her your lung has collapsed and you're having problems breathing? I read the newspapers, I know she saved your brother's life the day you shot yourself. I don't care you can tell them anything you want because they are not going to find you in time to save you. Now ask your questions while you still can." He turned around and walked back to the chair and sat down.

"So I arrested you…5 years ago…what for?" She could barely keep her eyes open but she had to get as much out of this guy as she could. "Hey Frost…pay attention…to the time…it may help."

The man turned to the camera. "Hey Frost I think she is trying to send you a message. Better pay attention because she may not last too much longer. At least you'd be able to find her body." He turned back to Jane. "You arrested me for armed robbery, I killed the clerk."

"Ah Kenny Jacobsen. I thought I recognized…that sleazy voice. They let you out already? Just more proof…that there is something…wrong with our justice…system if they let you out early."

"But Detective Rizzoli I was a model prisoner the whole time I was incarcerated and the parole board thought I earned an early out. I take it you don't agree."

"Hell no. Scumbags like you…should be taken out…behind the courthouse and shot. A bullet's a lot… cheaper than giving you…a roof over your head…for 5 years. You don't deserve…to breath the same…air as the rest…of the people out there. SHIT!"

He once again buried the knife as deep as he could but this time it was into the thigh muscle of her right leg. "While I was incarcerated I also read up on the anatomy of the human body." He turned to the camera. "You'd be proud of me Dr. Isles." He turned back to Jane. "None of the stab wounds by themselves are lethal, I'm staying away from arteries so the bleeding will be slow but eventually you will bleed out, especially once I've finished with you." He stabbed the left thigh in much the same way then turned and walked out of the room after Jane had passed out.

"Come on Frost that's twice she has referred to time directed to you, what is it?" Korsak was leaning over Frost's desk.

Frost sat there staring at him until he remembered something and then he pulled out his phone. "Dr. Isles go down to the morgue and get everything you will need to fix Jane's lung. Frankie go get us a van from the motor pool I know how we can find Jane." Both Maura and Frankie ran off without asking questions but Korsak stood there waiting for an explanation. "When Jane and I first became partners she said she had just bought a new watch, a watch with GPS capability." He punched in a few numbers into his phone then turned the screen to Korsak. "That's where she is. Let's go get her." They headed out of the office and Korsak stopped by the diner to let Angela know they were going to get Jane.

"Thank you for stopping by and telling me Vince. Bring my baby back home ok?" Angela wiped at the tears falling from her eyes.

"Frankie was just blowing off steam and you happened to be an easy target, he didn't mean what he said." He placed his hand on her shoulder.

"Yes he did and for the most part he was right. I've blamed Jane for doing things that any mother would be proud of but instead of being proud I've been so afraid of losing her that I told her how stupid she's been. Bring her back so I can set things right."

"We will, I'll call you when we have her then you can head to Mass General Hospital and meet us there."

"Thank you Vince. By the way, how did you find her?"

"She bought a watch with a GPS and mentioned it to Frost when they first partnered up and she's been throwing hints his way and he just remembered it. Well I gotta go. See you in a little while."

They parked the cars two blocks away and Korsak told Maura to stay in the van and she knew better than to come anywhere near the house until it was secure. She watched as the three men plus the S.W.A.T. unit approached the house and fought the urge to follow behind them. She wanted to be there when they found Jane and see that she was going to be ok. She listened to the police radio inside the car and was able to listen to all of their movements. She'd never been this close to a police operation and she had seen how well prepared they were for almost any situation and it made her feel a little better about Jane going out in the field. But when she heard the gunshots she opened the door, grabbed her medical bag and started running towards the house.

She was greeted at the door by a smiling Korsak. "I thought I told you to wait in the car. Come on our girl is asking for you."

He led her through the house to the top of the basement stairs. "What were those gunshots?"

"We had to shoot Jacobsen. He had a knife to Jane's throat so we shot him. Come on." He headed down the stairs where they found Jane lying on the floor. "Hey Janie, Maura's here."

Jane turned her head and smiled at Maura. "About time…you got here."

Maura knelt down beside her and took her hand. "Stop talking and let me fix you up ok?" Maura reluctantly released Jane's hand and reached into her medical bag and pulled out the tubing and scalpel and turned back to Jane. "You know this is going to hurt so don't fight passing out. I'll be here when you wake up ok?" All Jane could do is nod her head.

"Maura?" Jane whispered. "I love you. Don't forget that."

"I love you too now shut up." She smiled down at Jane. "Frankie, it's your turn to return the favor. I'm going to need your help. Tear off a couple of strips of tape about 5 inches long and have them ready. Hold her hand because this is going to hurt like a son of a bitch."

"You're so sexy…when you swear." Jane smiled up at Maura then turned and smiled at Frankie.

Maura tore Jane's shirt open and tried not to react to the number of bruises around her ribcage. Frankie on the other hand couldn't hold back. "Shit! It's a good thing the jerk is dead because if he wasn't I'd kill him myself."

Maura made the incision and watched as Jane hissed in pain and squeezed Frankie's hand. "This is going to hurt even more ok? Quit being so tough."

Jane looked up at Maura and wasn't surprised when she saw she was crying. "Should you be…doing that while…you're crying?"

"You see anyone else that can do it in the room?" She smiled down at Jane as she inserted the tube and breathed a sigh of relief when she saw Jane's breathing become as regular as it could with broken ribs. "Frankie, hand me the tape." She taped the tube in place then looked down at Jane. "How do you feel?"

"Like a Mac truck hit me but at least I can breathe fairly normal. What the hell are you doing this close to the action Maura?"

"I waited until the shooting was over before I came in you have to give me credit for that. Now shut up so we can get you out of here and to the hospital." Maura moved out of the way so the medics could check Jane out and hook up an IV they gave her something for the pain then loaded her onto the gurney. She walked beside the gurney to the ambulance then climbed in after they had Jane situated. "She had a collapsed lung, you already saw the multiple contusions, two stab wounds in the abdomen and one in each thigh."

"Don't forget the broken ribs sweetie." Maura smiled down at Jane. "These are good drugs honey, you should ask them for some. Oops that would go against your hippo…hippo"

"Hippocratic oath?" Maura that Jane on drugs was the cutest thing she had ever seen.

"Yeah that too. Can I go to sleep now? You won't leave me will you?" Jane looked up at Maura like a frightened little girl.

Maura brought Jane's hand to her lips and kissed it. "I will do everything I can to be there when you wake up. I love you. Now rest."

"Love you." Jane slurred before she passed out.

"Took her long enough." One of the medics said. "I've seen bigger guys pass out as soon as they get the shot. She's a fighter isn't she?"

"Yes she is."


	9. Chapter 9

'If I Had It To Do All Over Again

**Chapter 9**

Maura wouldn't let go of her hand until they stopped her at the door to the emergency room.

"Maura you can't go any further but I promise I will update you as soon and as often as I can." Maura turned and looked into the understanding eyes of her friend Jan, who was also the head trauma nurse at Mass General.

"Please take care of her ok?" Maura pleaded with Jan.

"We sure will, now go wait." She turned and hurried into the emergency room.

Maura turned and headed to the waiting room and was met in the hall by Frankie, Korsak and Frost. "Where's Angela?"

"I sent a squad over to pick her up. How's Jane doing?" Korsak helped Maura to one of the chairs.

"She's doing pretty well under the circumstances. Most of the wounds are wounds they can most likely stitch up so those will just require time for healing. They will set her shoulder and put her in a sling, for all the good that will do, for a couple of weeks. The ribs will take a bit longer to heal but that's only if we can get her to let them heal. But for the most part I think she's going to be ok."

Angela walked into the waiting room after Maura had finished speaking. Frankie jumped up and ran to her and enveloped her in a hug. "Ma I'm so sorry I said those things to you back at the station. I didn't mean any of it."

"Frankie what did I tell you about lying to your mother? I've had time to think about some of the things you said and have decided that you were right. Jane is a decorated officer and I am proud of her but I worry every day about the two of you." She took Frankie's hand and walked over to the chairs and sat next to Maura.

"Ma we take every precaution possible. The other reason I didn't die that day was because I was wearing my vest. Both Jane and I wear them when the situation warrants them. The situations where Jane has gotten injured are not normal everyday situations most cops face."

"And that's what scares me. But I think I saw today that she's a fighter, always has been and always will be. But she can take care of herself, if she can't she has Maura to take care of the rest." Maura did a double take at Angela's words. "What you didn't think I knew? I knew a long time ago."

"But we only just started dating recently how could you have known?"

"You just have to watch the two of you to know how you feel about each other. The two of you were the only ones who didn't know. Ask anyone." She looked around the waiting room at Jane's closest friends and they all nodded. "See everyone agrees. And I already love you as if you were my own so deal with it sweetie." Angela wrapped her arm around Maura's shoulders and pulled her into a hug which Maura awkwardly returned.

She wasn't used to being hugged by anyone but Jane but she found she liked it. The Rizzoli's were a very tactile family and Maura knew she'd better get used to it. "Thank you Angela that's very nice to know. The Rizzoli's have always treated me as part of your family and have made me feel more welcomed than my own family ever did."

"So are you and my Jane going to give me those grandkids?" Maura gasped.

"Ma leave the woman alone, her and Jane haven't been together long enough to get to that point in their relationship so leave her alone before you scare her off." Frankie sat down next to Maura and draped his arm across the back of her chair. "Maura it looks like the Rizzoli's owe you again for saving one of us. Jane would be dead right now if you hadn't helped her."

"No that's where you're wrong. We never would have found her if it weren't for Frost and the GPS. So this one is his." She turned and smiled at Barry.

"No this one is all Jane's. She knew the GPS in her watch would come in handy someday and she took the time to tell me about it. Then even though she was being tortured she remembered to give me the hints so that I would figure it out. Jane saved herself the same way she always does, with grit and determination."

"She did didn't she?" Angela asked with a sense of wonder. "She's always been a resourceful girl but I never realized how smart she was. I guess she can take care of herself can't she? That doesn't mean I'm going to stop worrying about you two." She looked pointedly at Frankie.

"Wouldn't have it any other way Ma." Just then they all looked up as Jan walked in.

"She's in surgery right now. It appears as though the rotator cuff bore the brunt of her weight and it was torn to the point where the orthopedic doctor felt the only way for it to repair properly was to surgically repair it. She'll be in surgery for about 2 hours then she'll be moved into the ICU for overnight observation. They'll probably move her to her own room day after tomorrow and kick her out of here shortly after that. But so far things seem to be going good. Maura can I talk to you for a minute." She then turned and walked out in the hallway and waited for Maura.

"What is it Jan is there something else you didn't want them to know?" Maura asked worriedly.

"Nothing bad. Jane told me to pass something on to you and I wasn't sure if you wanted everyone to know." Jan walked toward Maura and took her in her arms and gave her a big hug. "I told her that was where I draw the line when she also asked me to give you a big hug and a sloppy kiss on the lips." Jan knew that Maura was in love with Jane and had been for a long time but the last time they had talked she hadn't mentioned anything about Jane returning those feelings. "Anything you want to tell me?"

Maura smiled at her friend. "As you know she'd been avoiding me since the incident with Hoyt at the prison, well it turns out she thought the best way to keep me safe was to stay away from me. I forced her hand at my house then we got called out on another murder but then she came back to my house afterwards and we ended up expressing our feelings and found out we both loved each other and one thing led to another and you know the rest."

"I have a feeling you are leaving out quite a few things but we can talk about that later. I'm happy for you Maura, I hope it works out for you, you deserve it. Now I have to get back in there so I can keep you updated. See you later."

"Ok thanks Jan." Maura smiled as she watched her friend walk away. She and Jan had been friends for years, not as close as she and Jane were friends, but she was the one Maura would go to when she needed to talk about Jane or anything else she couldn't tell Jane. She was there for her when Jane shot herself and she listened to her cry whenever she worried about Jane and her risk taking. She had a feeling that those nights are going to be few and far between from here on out. She turned and walked back to the waiting room with a smile on her face.

Angela stood up and left the room telling Maura she'd be back in a few minutes. Maura wondered about the sly smile on her face. She came back a few minutes later with an even bigger grin on her face. She sat next to Maura and took her hand. "I went to the desk and told them you were family and that they should let you visit Jane anytime you wanted to. I know you have connections here and you would have found a way in but I thought I would make it easy on you."

Maura turned to Angela with tears in her eyes. "Thank you. You have no idea what that means to me. And you are right I would have found a way in there." She gave Angela a sly smile of her own.

"I know you would because you did it after she shot herself. I knew you were here every night and you'd sneak out before you thought any of us saw you but I saw you here late at night. You would spend your nights here then go to work in the morning then do it again the next night."

"I did go home and get a couple of hours before I left for work. I just wanted her to know I was there for her if she needed anything." The tears finally started falling from her eyes. "I felt so helpless. I'm a doctor for god's sake and I couldn't do anything to help her."

Angela moved her chair so she was sitting directly in front of Maura. She reached up and placed a finger below Maura's chin to raise her head so she could look her in the eyes. "How the hell can you say you couldn't do anything to help her? From what everyone told me at the time not only did you just save my sons life but you did enough to stem the flow of blood long enough for the medics to get there before they took over. At the hospital one of the medics came to check on her the next day and he told me if it hadn't been for you she would have bled out there on the sidewalk. So from my point of view you did more than most people that day and saved both of my children. Never think you don't do enough Maura."

"Thank you Angela. Today when Frankie was talking to you about him and Jane and their jobs I realized he could have been talking to me too. I used to think she took too many chances in her job but your son and Clair, the woman Hoyt had taken hostage, would both be dead if she didn't do what she did. I never thought about it that way until Frankie pointed it out today. I watched them today as they prepared to enter that building to rescue Jane and as Frankie said they take every precaution and they know what they are doing. I'll always worry about Jane but after today I won't worry as much."

"I guess it's my turn to thank you. Frankie and Jane have always tried to tell me that but it never sank in, now I think it has. Like you I'll always worry, it's a mother's job to worry, but like you said I don't have to worry as much." She leaned forward and gave Maura a hug and Maura returned it fervor. Angela moved her chair back beside Maura and took her hand and they both sat back and waited.

Jane woke 3 hours later and smiled up at her Ma and Frankie then turned to her right and her smiled turned up a notch when she saw Maura holding her hand. "Hey."

Maura leaned forward and kissed her on the cheek. "Hey back at you. How are you feeling?"

Jane blushed at Maura's open display of affection and looked over at her Ma and Frankie and saw that they were both smiling. "So you guys are ok with this?" She gestured between her and Maura.

Angela decided she was going to make Jane squirm for a little bit. "Ok with what Jane?" She turned to Frankie and winked.

"Yeah Janie what ya talkin' about?" Frankie said innocently. Maura tried to hide her smile as she watched the family banter.

"Come on guys you know what I'm talkin' about." Jane gave them a pleading look.

"All I saw was a good friend kissing someone on the cheek to let them know they are glad they are ok. Frankie is that what you saw?"

"Yeah Ma that's exactly what the evidence suggests. Maybe we should ask Maura what she meant. So Maura was there more to the kiss than the evidence suggests?"

"I defer to Jane." She turned to Jane and smiled at the frustrated look on her lovers face.

"Ah come on! I'm lying here injured and you guys are messing with me." She looked at her mother and Frankie. "You've even got Maura involved in your deceitful ways." She turned to Maura. "And don't think I didn't notice you avoided lying by 'deferring to me'." She did the imaginary quotes in the air. She then turned back to her mother. "Did you know she almost passes out if she lies? She literally cannot lie. Damn I'm tired." She closed her eyes and was immediately asleep.

The three of them looked at each other and laughed. Maura settled in the chair for the long night and Angela and Frankie decided she was in good hands so they headed home for the night.


	10. Chapter 10

'If I Had It To Do All Over Again

**Chapter 10**

Maura stood and stretched her back. She had been sitting in the same plastic chair for almost 6 hours and her back was paying the price. She walked around a little to get the blood circulating and stopped at the window and sat down on the ledge. That was what Jane saw when she opened her eyes, Maura silhouetted against the moonlight. "God you are beautiful." Jane said with a sense of wonder in her voice.

Maura turned around and walked towards her. "That's just the drugs talking." She sat on the edge of the bed and took Jane's hand.

"Nope not the drugs, if I could paint that would have been what I'd want to paint. You sitting there with the moonlight in your hair. Oh god it must be the drugs, that sounded almost poetic. Yuck!" She scrunched up her nose like it was distasteful.

Maura leaned forward and gave Jane a light kiss. "Jane that was beautiful and don't you dare blame it on the drugs. I like to think you feel comfortable enough to me to show your softer side. Your secret is safe with me." She leaned forward and gave Jane a long lingering kiss. She started to pull away and felt Jane's left hand pull her head back so it was resting on her right shoulder. "No Jane that's going to hurt your shoulder."

"Maura you should know that the nerve block is still blocking the pain. I've got about an hour before it wears off and things get ugly. So can you just lay there and let me enjoy it while I can?" She kissed the top of Maura's head then laid back and sighed a sigh of contentment. "See we can do this without having sex all the time."

Maura playfully slapped Jane on the arm. "Why do you have to spoil the moment?" She rose up so she could look down at Jane.

"Because I didn't want you to think I'm going to be a softy all the time." She smiled then pulled her head back down again.

"You do realize you've got a lot of physical therapy ahead of you before you can go back to work don't you?"

"Yeah I do." Jane said rather dejectedly.

Maura sat back up. "How about I take some time off to help you and you can stay at my house while you recover? That way your mother can cook, I can drive you to and from your therapy appointments and we can sleep together every night." She smiled proudly and puffed out her chest when she said the last part like it was a deal maker.

"Well look at you my strutting peacock. Think you've got it all figured out don't you? Proud of yourself aren't you?" Maura smiled and nodded at Jane. "Well since you put it so sweetly, I would love to move in with you." Maura's heart fluttered at the thought of Jane moving in with her. "Temporarily of course." Jane watched Maura's face for her reaction and she smiled when she saw the grin disappear.

"Jane I know we haven't been dating long but we've known each other for years and we have kind of been dating right?" Jane nodded but kept her face neutral. "Would you object to moving in with me? You already spend more time there than at your own place. Your family is already there so why not?"

"Well for starters your last statement is reason enough not to. I moved out to get away from my family so I'm sure as hell not moving back in where Ma is going to be under foot all the time. I love the idea of waking up next to you every morning but not at the expense of my privacy. How about this as an alternative? Tommy already found his own place, Frankie can stay at his own place more often and we can move Ma into my place. Then we go back to the traditional Rizzoli family dinners on Sunday afternoons and Ma can come over and cook up a storm."

The smile on Maura's face was radiant as she leaned down to give Jane a very passionate kiss. "I like the way you think Jane Rizzoli." Jane pulled her down for a another kiss.

**THE END!**


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